I find myself in the wonderful position of being surrounded by truly remarkable people, all moving along their own timelines. Interestingly, many of us have recently wandered into the same situation despite being at drastically different points in our lives--we realize we're not really living. These people have provided the advice, adventures, and ponderings that inspired this blog. I'm excited for you to meet them.
{Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.} Carl Sandburg
I am abnormally freaked out by the passage of time. I used to think the best way to handle this was to fill my life with everything imaginable, for the sake of efficiency; I would pack as much as physically possible into every day so I could convince myself I was making the most of my time. I've come to learn this is completely counterintuitive. You can't stop time. Instead of fighting with an immovable force of nature, it's probably better to develop a slightly more effective strategy; deeply invest in moments as you live them. Unfortunately, when you're constantly preparing for the next moment you only ever superficially engage in the one you're living in real-time.
My biggest fear is that I'll realize at some point that I neither have a deep understanding of my self, nor any fulfilling recollection of how I spent my time--I will have been so busy trying to save it that I missed out on the very moments I was trying to capture and preserve (Catcher in the Rye, anyone?). I will have been too busy to truly invest in thinking, loving, creating, connecting, experiencing, and making mistakes.
You can't know yourself without leaving room for these things. You may be able to identify relative to a socially defined label but not as a human being. To truly know yourself in this way you must engender your humanity, which manifests itself in the parts of living common among all people regardless of their location in space or time. People's ability to explore the realms of food, music, culture, ethics, heritage, communication, and spirituality is often stifled by the pressures of more time-sensitive responsibilities--their busy-ness, if you will.
Following a series of thought-provoking discussions and perspective-administering events, I decided that it was time to break myself of my most disabling habit; it is time to stop wasting minutes trying to escape the best and most beautiful things in life. I want to learn to live and love every, every minute.
I stopped moving today. While some of my friends would call this apocalyptic, the day wasn't all that revolutionary. I did, however, feel refreshed and present in a way I haven't for quite some time. After taking a moment to actually breathe during breakfast, I headed out for the day's adventure. I'm an intern at Poverty Resolutions Inc. (www.povertyresolutions.org), a growing non-profit dedicated to mitigating the global burden of poverty by creating and supporting sustainable economic and educational programming here and abroad. In preparation for the upcoming Arts Festival in State College, we've teamed up with other start-ups and non-profits in the area for a creative project; each organization has sponsored the painting of a piano that will be available for public use downtown throughout the event. On a whim, I decided to see if the painters needed help and found myself hopelessly lost in Lemont (hangs head in shame...). After driving aimlessly for an hour and awkwardly showing up at the home of someone whose name I didn't even know, I spent an incredible afternoon painting pianos and enjoying random conversation with two really progressive and engaging strangers. I have primer splattered all over my body for proof.
Later, I discovered that the easiest way to go for a long run without getting bored is to get lost...when you don't need to watch the clock, you're not so concerned about where you're going or how you're going to get back. Needless to say, I managed to lose myself in State College twice in one day. I'm not proud of this, BUT I made some beautiful discoveries along the way.
I actually cooked dinner. Revolutionary, I know. That's right...real food. Not a granola bar on the way to work or an apple between meetings--sauteed green beans, scallops and grape tomatoes seasoned with garlic. Done and done.
Lesson of the day: Allow yourself to get lost.
Ciao for now,
Rachel
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